


Speechless

by Nameless_Windrunner



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 09:15:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11101488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nameless_Windrunner/pseuds/Nameless_Windrunner
Summary: Not everyone came to Andromeda to repopulate, actually for some it is the absolute worst outcome that could have been conceived. A short tale of Peanut Butter and her inability to cope with the idea that maybe one day her adventures would end, and she'd be reduced to nothing but a mother; just a repeat of her own mother. Gill's talks of repopulation and Peebee's romance made me think of the idea, enjoy





	Speechless

There was once a time when Pelessaria, Peebee, B’sayle yearned for the day to be left speechless. To be found in a situation so absolutely mind boggling that she simply could not find words to accurately express the intense emotions welling up behind her face. Now the feeling was getting old, and she was left with an intense desire to never feel speechless again.  
“You’re shitting me” The standard joy and carefree nature of the girl was now nowhere to be found. Her blue skin almost seemed paler in the light, some might say her elcor was showing.  
“That sounds like a human expression” Lexi found her response amusing. “No, I am very serious.” Again, Peebee’s face went down caste. “I’m very sorry Peebee.”  
“Sorry? Shouldn’t you be excited or something?” Anger danced just behind Peebee’s teeth though it’s direction was lost upon her, “whole reason we came to Andromeda was to populate it, right?”  
“Right, but I keep files on all my crew, and I know you Peebee. I know this is devastating.” Peebee appeared to hear the words, but had no real response to them. It seemed a worse mental state than the volatile one she came to the Tempest with. Lexi bit her lip, concerned she had made an error in being so front with the information. “Peebee, I’m sorry”  
A soft, hurt, “How far along?” was the only sign that the girl was still conscious at all.  
“It’s hard to tell with asari, it has a lot to do with the partner. Human’s average about an eight to nine-month period, and going off embryo size… I’d say ten weeks,” it was far from an exact guess, but it was enough to be worried about.  
“Don’t the cryo pods have some sort of contraceptive thingy, or something?”  
“Correct, but it does subside eventually, and we’ve now been in Andromeda more than a year. It may have something to do with your early wake up, or just an inefficient dose. I’m not sure. I do know that you are pregnant though.” Hearing the word a second time sent similar ripples down Peebee. She looked down and closed her eyes tighter than she ever had before.  
“I don’t suppose… We can…” She stuttered with the concept for a moment, “remove it?”  
“Not under current Initiative protocols.” With a defeated, though slightly relieved, exhale, she opened her eyes again and stood from the medical bed. she tried to reclaim her former self in just a sentence.  
“Alrighty then,”  
“Would you like to tell Ryder?” Peebee let her eyes raise briefly, “or shall I?” She breathed deep, and seemed to almost practice her usual vigor. Bouncing to herself and getting her heart beat going again.  
“Nah, I got this” She reached for her former self, but there were cracks in the façade, “please.” possibly the first-time Lexi had heard the word please sincerely used by Peebee.  
“Alright, I’ll update SAM with the same information, he’ll be on a strict zipped lip policy. Understood SAM?”  
“Affirmative Doctor.”  
“Peebee listen to me,” Lexi put on her mother hen hat for this moment, “Don’t run away from this. Sara, Gill, and everyone on the Tempest wants to help you. You’re not alone anymore.” Peebee’s eyes were glossy, it was difficult to tell if she’d made any real impact. “We care about you no matter what.” Still, no response. “Get some sleep, but come see me in the morning, okay?”  
“Thanks doc,” was the brief goodbye offered, and Peebee exited the medical bay. Outside, she took a long moment to stare down the hallway leading to the hangar. She could see all the moments she had on this ship fading, they appeared to be precious memories of ‘the good times’, the times now gone. With a melancholy sigh, she wistfully touched the beloved walls of the Tempest and opened the door to the captain’s quarters. Light marched into the room, combating the darkness towards the figure of a standing woman at the room’s wide window.  
“Hey,” she offered shy and sweetly, like an old friend returned. Sara Ryder, savior of the Initiative and human pathfinder stood in the center of her room. She was leaning against the observation window, with only a shirt and pants far too comfy to be worn in public clothing her.  
“You’re awake?” Peebee felt her lips curl without a single thought. Still staring at the girl who everyone had a crush on at the playground.  
“I woke up after you left, is everything okay?” She sounded tired, but joyous none the less.  
“What? Pfft. Yeah?” Peebee found her jovial side naturally return next to Ryder. “Everything’s great.” Ryder’s response was merely a tighten lip and a head tilt. “Ah it’s…” Peebee’s eyes fell to one side, “Drack’s prosthetics were bothering him, which meant Lexi had to be up, which meant I had to be up since I know how to make asari tea.” A lie worth writing home about.  
“What? You’ve never made me asari tea, I’m hurt” Ryder’s smile betrayed her words.  
“Aw, lemme make it up to you.” Peebee playfully came to her side and lovingly kissed her, for about two seconds longer than normal. When their lips parted, Peebee placed her head against Ryder’s chest and smiled. “You’re really attractive…”  
“Sleepy?”  
“Mmmhmm…” 

Solar mornings had their perks, such as no blinding light to inform you it was time to get up, only the loving, terribly necessary, blaring sound of a small alarm next to the bed. The pain of getting out of bed was made worse with the knowledge that neither Ryder nor Peebee had slept enough during the night.  
“Five more minutes…” Ryder waved off the alarm and gripped her lover tighter. Peebee reveled in the feeling of being held, it was a feeling that had yet to grow old. It was still new every time she woke up. Then, her throat began to tighten, her stomach expanded, and her eyes opened wide.  
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Peebee fretfully spat out,  
“Again?” Ryder’s focus was now solely on her, “We are never having Liam make that jambalaya again if this is happening to you…You know he means well”  
“Yeah well,” Peebee hurriedly exited the bed and made her way to the ship’s bathrooms, “what can you do? Amino acids, and stomachs and—” and she was gone. It was incredibly fortunate this past week to have the ship’s bathrooms so close to the captain’s room. The damn toilet had become the first thing she saw in the mornings, along with whatever it was she ate for dinner. It had become routine enough to prompt a visit to the doctor, and Peebee could now accurately predict when Sara would knock on the door.  
“Peebee?”  
“Go do Pathfinder stuff, I’m fine” She waved behind her, hiding her face close to the toilet.  
“I’m having trouble believing that, let me go get Lexi”  
“What? I’m fine. Really, it’s just a bug. Go on babe, I’ll see you on the bridge” Ryder stuck around another ten minutes outside the bathroom door, and It took another twenty minutes after that for Peebee’s stomach to calm down, then another hour for her to get off the floor. Whoever it was on Kallo’s team that installed heated floors was her new best friend. Eventually the asari did manage to stand. Her legs took a moment to remember how to work and her eyesight came back soon after going completely dark. Leaning on the bathroom wall for support she found her way to the exit. As she made her way to lie down in an actual bed, Peebee heard her name called from the other side of the hallway. Jaal now stood opposite her with a goofy looking smile on his face, and a small box in his hands. He was not wearing his armor, he looked very casual in his civilian wear, but it was clear he desperately want to contact Peebee.  
“For me?” She quickly guessed, and Jaal nodded. He approached her and gently placed the box in her hands, retaining a wider grin than anytime she had seen him before “I swear it’s just a stomach bug, no need to get me anything”  
“A stomach bug? Is that what the Milky Way species call their children? That seems rather um…” Jaal searched his thoughts for a moment, “Odd”  
“What?”  
“I have come to offer you traditional angaran gifts to celebrate your anticipated joy, tt is Ryder’s child as well, yes? If I understand asari reproduction well enough, it will be a strong child.”  
“Jaal, no” Peebee quickly shoved the gifts back into his hands. “I’m not pregnant”  
“Of course you are, angara know these things” He gestured to his head with a single finger. An attempt at a milky way gesture. “The electromagnetic connection you hold to the stars burns bright with the hearts of two. You now carry a sacred bond to—”  
“Well, you’re off this time,” She tried to regain her ground.  
“Peebee, we are family on the Tempest, there is no reason to be ashamed, it is a monumental time for you and Ryder” alright, Peebee knew when she was outgunned.  
“Don’t tell Ryder,” she whispered.  
“She does not know?” and Peebee shook her head, “How strange, you do not tell your partners when you’re with child? That is so interesting, why is that?”  
“Because it’s complicated, and it would mean a lot to me if you didn’t say anything okay?” This was clearly very difficult for Jaal. He was being asked to support his family, by betraying his family. His eyes shut, and his focus completely on the decision to be made. Then, it seemed he caved. His shoulders loosed and his eyes returned to Peebee.  
“Very well,” Jaal agreed and put his gifts down to swear, “I shall not mention it to Ryder, unless the situation is dire. Acceptabel?”  
“Sure, great. Fine. Thank you Jaal,”  
Peebee continued her path back to bed, whatever energy she saved was quickly spent talking with Jaal. With an ungraceful slam, she collapsed into the blankets and pillows that awaited her in Ryder’s room. A quick snuggle of the blankets and sleep welcomed Peebee back into its embrace.  
Her eyes began to stir a few hours later, feeling far more refreshed than before. The galactic view outside had dramatically shifted from when she had first woken up, a new star outside, and a new horizon. The sense of adventure got Peebee out of bed and dressed in her standard coat. No more feeling weak, she was going to get out of the house.  
The walk to the bridge was far calmer. Walking became the best means of transportation, as climbing the Tempest’s ladders would often end in dizziness and needing someone to help her get off. After everything that happened with the Archon, one would think the Tempest’s crew would slow down, but they continued as hard as ever. Vetra always had something new in the works, Liam was the primary contact between outpost and Tempest, it was all impressive. This was a good home while it lasted. The Tempest never slowed down, just the way she liked it. There was conversation beyond the door to the bridge, Peebee could hear her voice, and she felt her step move just a little faster to see Ryder again. Almost a year of this nonsense and she still found her heart skip just a beat. The doors opened, and the world slowed as Ryder turned. To see the auburn hair sparkle in the light the stars, and her eyes gleaming to meet her own, how could she not ogle her?  
“Hey gorgeous,” Ryder brightened as she said it, and it was clear again that she felt the exact same way toward Peebee.  
“That’s my line” She threw a false fit at the name.  
“You’ll wanna see this,” Ryder motioned toward to bridge’s window. Peebee followed the instruction to a metallic structure floating in the void. It looked not unlike a planet, but far smaller, and almost seemed to be morphing. Moving into shape after shape, though always returning it its rounded form. A pyramid, then a cube, and then back to an orb. Clearly made of the same material Meridian was, but far more fluid, its purpose far different.  
“What is it?” Was all Peebee could find the words for.  
“We have no fucking idea.” Ryder confidently stated.  
“That’s not entirely true,” Suvi quickly added.  
“Indeed,” SAM’s voice echoed in the cockpit “It contains multiple signatures that register as Remnant Architects, however, I detect no such constructs within the station. It is possible this has a similar purpose though on a far larger scale.”  
“Meaning?” Ryder, still confused.  
“We think this—”  
“It makes more Remnant…” Peebee finished Suvi’s sentence.  
“Precisely,” SAM affirmed, “theoretically, this station is responsible for the continued deployment of the constructs we see on the various planets across Helius.”  
“Ryder we have to go down there!”  
“Not yet,” Ryder kept her gaze toward the stars as she said it, “We shouldn’t look at this thing without our Remnant expert” she placed a hand on Peebee’s shoulder, “and you’ve been struggling to get out of bed in the mornings”  
“But I feel fine now! I swear!” Peebee began pacing up and down the bridge, “look at me go, I can run a marathon!” Ryder was amused, but her concern was still heavy. “Ryder.” Peebee clapped her hands together, “I need this, I need to go, please please pleeeeeaaaasseeeeee”  
“Why?” the word was coupled with an uneasy laugh “It’s not going anywhere, we can investigate it later, when you can hold down some food”  
“I need to prove a point,” Sara waited an extra second for Peebee to follow the statement up with something, but nothing came. It was a difficult moment for Ryder, but it she had made harder choices in her life. She was also powerless against Peebee’s begging.  
“Okay, I trust you,” Ryder nodded “Swing by Lexi and see if she has anything for your stomach, and meet me in the hangar bay.”  
“Yes! Thank you baby!” Ryder earned a hug around the neck for her choice, though it didn’t ease her fear much. “Be right back!”  
Peebee couldn’t afford to stop by Lexi, the good doctor would get all worried and say something like “you’re putting two lives in danger!” or “Why are you so stupid?” something like that. It would have all been well meant, but she didn’t understand how important this was. She made her way towards the medical bay only to stow away into the bathroom and wait for an appropriate time to reunite with Ryder and their third member. It was lucky she did not pass her fellow asari either time, but Peebee took it as a sign of good fortune. Ryder was suited up in her armor and preparing her equipment.  
“You look hot,” Peebee cued making her presence known.  
“I can’t save the galaxy looking like shit, that’d just be classless.” It was not until Peebee got close that she could see Jaal was the chosen third for the mission.  
“Peebee,” The two exchanged a look of surprise, though it quickly became one of understanding their agreement “glad you are feeling better”  
“Yup, couldn’t be better” It was a routine and familiar process to check gear and prepare accordingly to fight Remnant. It was a difficult drop, but the Nomad got on the ground. Kallo marked the time for them, and released the Nomad onto the ground. It was a quick drop, the continually changing terrain left very few acceptable landing sites. But they hit the ground, and the station’s artificial gravity kept them grounded.  
Several structures could be seen in the distance but no clear destination was in site. The architecture was another piece out of fiction, and it took more than a few moments for the crew to go anywhere due to the view. Various hexagons moved and changed the shape of the landscape every few minutes, like great pistons firing up and down, they never stopped and the land would be completely different after a moment. The atmosphere was artificial and thin, it was easy to see much of solar system from this spot, but gravity existed, and it was time to get to work.  
“Can I go pee?” Peebee interrupted the awe.  
“Didn’t you go before we left?”  
“Yeah, but I gotta go again.”  
“Nomad doesn’t really have any bathrooms…” Jaal and Ryder exchanged looks. “I don’t know how long this particular platform will stay in the same spot we are currently in.”  
“No it’s fine, I can hold it, I just thought I’d ask.” Finally, the Nomad began its exploration. With SAM’s guidance and the implant guiding them, the Nomad could traverse solid ground with the control over Remnant structures. Most of the constructs here did not seek combat and appeared to mostly be worker drones. The newness and excitement of the whole station was lost on Peebee though, her mind continued to fret. However, she tried. Whenever she would sink inward, it was a very conscious effort to hide it. Luckily the station was a fascinating specimen with plenty to distract her fears.  
“Ryder, a control center is most likely in the most northern tower. Marking your NAV point now.”  
“Thanks SAM, let’s see what makes this place tick.”  
“How is your ‘pee’ doing?” Came a question from the back seat.  
“It’s fine Jaal.”  
“I know we’re still aliens, but that still seems like a weird question Jaal.” Jaal and Peebee exchanged another look of knowing what Jaal was truly asking her. Compared to the normal banter that takes place in the Nomad, this trip was rather quiet. Most of the time was spent staring out windows at frequent power spikes and continuously shifting environment.  
The control center held a very similar feeling to that of the Meridian station. A large tower with separate towers on either side. The lack of Kett presence made moving through this station considerably easier. remnant defenders were still active, but it was nothing for the crew that saved the galaxy. Through twists and turns, over strange platforms, the crew came face to face with the largest Remnant battalion to date. Rows and rows of Destroy class Remnant tech. All seemingly waiting for a directive.  
“Alright,” Sara eyed them all carefully, “SAM says the console we’re looking for it through this… Legion, nobody touch anything” there was a beat, then “Peebee…”  
“Damnit! How do you always know?”  
“Perhaps there are more of these stations throughout Helius?” Jaal continued to eye the sleeping titans with awe, though he was very careful to not touch.  
“Pathfinder,” SAM buzzed back, “There is an alarm set to activate security”  
“Where?” As Sara said it, a large siren went off.  
“About one foot behind you,”  
“SAM!” Luckily, security did not include every Destroyer in this staging area. Though a large force of Remnant came to remove to intruders. It was not an easy fight, but not the most difficult one. The warriors crushed, shot, and dismantled all manner of machine in their fight, but it was a labyrinth of dormant machines. Through the fighting, the three were separated, and Peebee found herself alone with a single Remnant console. It shined in her eye with a curious light and she could help but reach for it. It almost called to her. As her hand contacted the device, she did not notice the Destroyer activate behind her, and point its devastating turrets at her body.  
Ryder found herself at the maze’s end. An upward ramp to a command console and finally salvation. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and cheerfully chuckled at their victory. Approaching the console, the station’s secrets began to reveal themselves.  
“Peebee, I think this has blueprints for the monoliths stored inside, SAM’s still searching though, what have you found?” Ryder turned from the console she had been examining to find she was alone. “Peebee?” Her voice immediately became tense and she reached for her weapon. “Jaal! Peebee!”  
“Ryder!” Jaal’s voice came back on a lower floor of the command tower.  
“Peebee…” Ryder moved quickly to where the voices had been. “SAM, find them for me” it didn’t take long for the AI to track them. Peebee was bloody, not dying, but no good. She was sat on the ground. Jaal stood over her, with a few bloody rags, and his shall removed as a pillow for Peebee’s head. “Peebee!” Ryder quickly fell to her side. “What happened?”  
“Curiosity killed the cat?” Was what Peebee coughed up. “I’m fine, my shields took most of it, Jaal killed it before it got in a good hit,” As she said it, Peebee motioned to the fallen Destroyer behind them, Jaal’s knife firmly stuck in its headlight.  
“Stop saying you’re fine when you’re not,” Sara eyes were watery now.  
“Ryder, we have to return her to the Tempest, immediately.” Jaal’s tone was almost harsh.  
“Right,” Ryder nodded, “can you stand?”  
“Ryder no,” Peebee paused her, “this is ridiculous, it was a few shots, we’ve all been shot before. Let’s get the data before Remnant take this place back. Next time they’ll be expecting us,”  
“She does have a point, this place is on guard now, we might not get in here again, if she’s in stable condition we can grab the data and—”  
“She is with child.” SAM’s voice shattered Ryder’s train of thought. It felt weird for Peebee to finally hear the confession out. Part of her felt good, like a burden was gone from her shoulders or she could finally exhale, on the other hand, Ryder did not speak a word. Her eyes were processing the information, the same way when she did on the kett ship, and the krogan scouts.  
“Alright…” Her voice had lost the cheerfulness and sarcasm it usually maintained and gained an analytical tone, “We need to get back to the ship.”  
“What?” Came Peebee from below them. Ryder reached down and picked the injured girl up in both arms, carrying her as one would their bride, back to the Nomad. An emergency pick up signal was issued, the Tempest was there in a matter of minutes. All the while with Peebee trying to explain how the wound was truly nothing. Soon, the entire Tempest crew was found in the medical deck.  
“She needs space” Lexi proclaimed. Drack proved to be the most difficult to fit in, but in the end there was enough room for the entire crew to observe the analysis. The bullet wounds themselves weren’t anything major, a remnant Destroyer class pulse fire round broke the shields enough to piece the skin and slip through major organs without much damage. The part that had everyone on their toes was Lexi’s analysis of the child.  
“What do you see?”  
“Is it okay?”  
“Why the hell did we send Peebee into the field?”  
“Lexi what’s it say?”  
“Enough!” Lexi silence the crew with a surprising burst of anger. “All of you aside from Ryder need to leave.” It took a moment of awkward exchanges and silence for the crew to evacuate but the room was quiet again. Ryder found time to sit next to Peebee on her bed.  
“How ya doing?”  
“How the hell do you think…”  
“You look good for pregnant,” Peebee’s smile returned for a moment before fading again.  
“I’m so sorry.” She sank into her bed even further. Her eyes welled up, “I’m so fucking stupid,”  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice held no anger, but Peebee was used to false kindness.  
“Are you mad?”  
“Was I mad when you kidnapped me, and launched me into an active volcano?” They shared a brief remembrance of the occurrence and another smirk appeared on Peebee’s face. “A little, but I can’t be mad right now,” Ryder lanced her fingers with hers.  
“I…” Peebee began to see all her fears coming forth, “I can’t do this Ryder. I can’t be pregnant.” It was evident she didn’t understand, so Peebee continued, “If I’m pregnant, that means I have to be a mom. If I’m a mom then I can’t go out anymore, I’ll have to get another apartment on Meridian, and make lunches, and deal with crying, and read the news, and I can’t go to dangerous situations anymore, and I can’t stay up until the morning with research and my life will just be stupid boring shit.” Ryder moved to speak, but “And I didn’t want to tell you, because I thought if you didn’t know I could get away with still going places, still being a crew member, and maybe get rid of it secretly or something, but I know you’d want to follow Nexus protocol. But you know, we’re both too young to be having kids, I mean, I’m still very much a maiden, and you, well I have no idea what you are, but you’re young, and really hot, and if we had a kid we couldn’t do half the shit we do! And—” Peebee stopped herself to examine Ryder’s reaction, but it was unchanged. “You know I was really hoping you’d cut me off at some point with a slap or something.”  
“How about a kiss?” Ryder grinned at her.  
“I like those more than slaps,” It was a brief kiss, but enough for Peebee to slow her speech down.  
“Well, all this is irrelevant if we damaged the child in the fight,” Ryder looked to Lexi as she said it.  
“The blood loss was problematic, but I think we have acted within enough time to ensure no damage was done.” Lexi handed them both a data pad, “she’s in good health, and so is Peebee.” Peebee didn’t really want to read it, but Sara examined in like her life depended on it.  
“Thanks Lexi,” Ryder handed the pad back to her.  
“I know I’m an idiot…”  
“Not at all” Ryder caressed her cheek. “You’re right, if I was an asari, I’d be a young maiden. Probably younger than you. You and me? We’re not ready for this,”  
“So we’ll get rid of it?”  
“Do you want to get rid of it? You know Vetra, she can pull strings like nobody’s business.”  
“I don’t know… I don’t know what to do.” Peebee could only bring herself to shake her head. She snickered, “You know, I used to hope I would find myself absolutely clueless as to what I want next,”  
“Where I’m sitting, I know we can’t raise a little blue asari, but I know who can.”  
“Adoption?” Peebee asked,  
“SAM, let the crew back in.” The medical doors slid open and the Tempest crew quickly filed back in, they hadn’t left the door’s side. “Jaal had five mothers, so maybe our girl could work with two, a crazy krogan grandpa, and some bad ass aunts and uncles.”  
“Are you serious?” Peebee addressed the whole crew with the question, “You’re going to put raising a child on these people, even with all they have going on?”  
“I will teach her angaran bedtime stories!” Jaal proclaimed  
“And some football” Liam joined  
“And gardening,” Cora nodded  
“Faith, and science” Suvi smiled  
“Navigating space?” Kallo shrugged  
“How to get what she wants” winked Vetra  
“A few poker tricks” Gill laughed to himself,  
“How to make a perfect roast.” Drack gave the warmest grin that a krogan was capable of.  
“And I’ll always make sure she’s healthy, and taken care of.” Lexi placed a hand on Peebee’s shoulder.  
“You know what they say, it takes a village,” Ryder looked over her crew.  
“Of course it does,” Jaal agreed.  
“That’s an idiom,”  
“Is it?” He had a point in this case.  
Sara beheld Peebee and clutched her hand, “I always thought I’d be the one having my kids, but I’m not, so if you don’t want to go through with it, we’ll find a way around it. But you never have to fight alone again. We’re all here, in combat, or at the dinner table, that’s what a family is for.” Ryder kissed Peebee on the forehead, as she wiped a tear or two from her face.  
“You might just be the worst parents I could think of,” Peebee’s smile betrayed her insult, “And the best family anyone could ask for…”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I truly mean it. This story was important for many reasons to me. That said, feel free to tear it apart in the comments. Oh! And this is my first story here. PLEEEASE tell me if I screwed up any of the warning, tags, or anything else. HELP ME LEARN! Remember: You're worthy of all the good that comes to you.


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